• multifacetedacg

Those Hot Flashes

Updated: Jan 23



I see the benefits of couples sleeping in separate beds and advocate for it. Seriously, give me a long headboard with two separate beds and make the bedroom a den of wonderful rest. It doesn't have to be the death of intimacy. In fact, I don't think it will be at all because you're getting quality sleep.


My partner and I are currently residing in an extended stay with two full beds and a built-in night stand built into the long headboard. At home, we share a king-sized bed that we roll around and peel blankets away from one another on. The first night here, we shoved ourselves onto one of the full-sized beds and huddled under the comforter to withstand the cold Denver air whipping against the window. The shit wasn't a win, not at all. We were uncomfortable and my hot flash convinced him that I was not only about to set the bed on fire, but also that within me is the entrance to the very bowels of hell. It's one of the the worse hot flashes I've had in a while.


Since then, there's been moments of desirable heat and moments of boiling frustrations. Our work schedules are somewhat in conflict and we're learning how to navigate temporary long-distance status for said work. Being in a bigger bed has provided us physical space to end our days with enough distance to reset, no matter what happened beforehand. Right now? Not so much. Hot flashes have happened everywhere we've been. It's not anger but agitation. It's months of living apart after jumping into living together... two people still finding the best way to show intention and give attention without smothering the other. It's the kitchen being a particular way and the bathroom floor not feeling wet. It's sitting close and recapping the day though we're both tired in different ways. It's enough to make the temperature rise within the spaces we occupy.


It won't end, both the physical hot flashes and the emotional ones. And so, the separate beds are a little life saver for the time being.

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